Me at Privet Drive
by Shakeval
Summary: What really happened that night, well old voldemort came a knocken?this is what could have happened.A shameless SI parody of the Harry Potter series mixed with elements of Barry Trotter for some good fun, and added to all that fun is....well me of course.
1. Prologue

**Prologue **

Disclaimer:

I don't own any of this stuff except for what are my own ideas.

I would just like to say before I start writing this that I have recently finished reading Barry Trotter and the shameless parody plus I have just finished the half blood prince and watching the first season of 'The Young Ones' on DVD. And added to that these first few chapters were written when I was really sick but to bored to sleep and I decided to write, plus I was listening to a number of Metallica albums including St. Anger.

You have been warned.

thoughts

"" speech

_italics_ spells

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Once again I thought back to the decision I had made and I cursed myself. I mean come on who in their right mind accepts a challenge from a voice without any visible body? Something so simple a say "sure, what's the worst that could happen". Damn I was wrong, this couldn't really be much worse.

It all started after I finished reading the whole Harry Potter series up to the most recently release Half Blood Prince, now I was rather frustrated with a running trend of Harry generally being a bit of a lazy ass, come on if I had someone trying to kill me and magic was the only way to defeat him I think I'd put a hell of a lot more effort into my learning.

I then made the stupid mistake of voicing my displeasure at the whole series

flashback

"That's it? Damn stupid thing, even I could have come up with a better plot, granted I probably couldn't write so much but still I could sure as hell come up with a better storyline."

"_Could you now? Well how would you like too?_"

"Sure as hell, I could do damn well better than….hey who's there?

"_it's not important, you've accepted, goodbye._" The ethereal voice off-handedly said as my world started to blur and then everything went black.

end flashback

And that was that, I soon found myself 'reborn', If you would called it that, in the very body of wee little potter, what he experienced, I experienced. For a while everything was relatively ok, little Harry's developing mind slowly went through those little stages a baby goes through until they start trying to move around. He even gurgled occasionally but nothing much more than that; and me you may ask, what had I been doing? Well I had been doing a hell of a lot more than that.

I had started to acclimatize myself to Harry's body as quickly as I could, at times I would take control away from Harry and get myself used to the limitations of the little body I had been forced into. But seeing as Harry would scream and cry every time I took over, I had to start reserving that time for when Harry was asleep. Before long Harry's parents moved to Godrick's Hollow, and I knew that soon little Harry and I would be torn away from a 'normal life', by wizarding standards, and be thrust into a terrible life of slavery under the fat and disgusting relatives.

I re-enforced as many of the memories of happy times and Family times, knowing that soon there wouldn't be any parents or happy times.

But above that the most important thing I did during those times, besides strengthening memories, was the manipulation of Harry's magic; I had developed this little theory.

It is said that a baby wizard is born with a set amount of magic, they just learn to use it better and through that use its power becomes more potent. I personally disagreed with this what I believed was that a baby just doesn't have the knowledge or interest or even the will power to try to increase their power. They just want to eat, sleep, poop, and absorb all the attention given to them.

So I set about trying to use Harry's magic and maybe mine, seeing as how I'd been born into his body and maybe had acquired some benefits. My first attempts proved to be leaving much to be desired, but after a few attempts I got a spark, a small spark mind you, but enough to shock little Harry awake and into a crying fit, which brought his parents running. I'm really starting to hate the little guy when he starts crying. And it was during one of these fits that I figured out how to temporarily leave Harry's body, I could almost think of it as one of those out-of-body experiences that some people have when they have been abusing certain substances. I wasn't sure how long the experience would last so I spent my time floating around the house, familiarising myself with areas I hadn't been to, and damn I sure found something that I could have done without, besides the potions area in the basement there was a vinyl sex dungeon, filled with every imaginable sextoy you could possibly think of.

This caused me to never look at Lily and James the same ever again, you wouldn't think they were into that sort of thing, but on numerous occasions I had woken up in the night only to hear them going at it. But hey, who am I to judge them for having a healthy relationship?

After watching Lily working around the house all day I started trying to imitate some of the spells she used, I only had a few problems, I neither had a wand nor did I have properly developed vocal cords to voice the spells. So you can see I had some real problems.

But at least I figured out how to keep myself, which I personally consider to be very important.

Unfortunately all good things don't last for ever, soon that fateful day came, that day when I lost my adopted parents and much of the freedom I had loved so much, soon I would never have the freedom to leave Harry in charge of our body.

It started out like any normal day I'd work with Harry's magic and then mine until he'd wake up and start crying to be fed, which seemed to promptly cause him to empty his bowels right into his pants, which luckily were enchanted to self-scurgify when soiled. After breakfast James would leave for the ministry and Lily would quickly clean up before she started filling out papers and going through other bits of work.

This was then followed by lunch and around dinner time James would return home. Everything seemed to be going as normal, if only I had known today was the last day, I wouldn't have used up most of Harry's magic, fortunately I hadn't used any of mine today; as I had come up with a system of using up my magic every other day, so that I wasn't completely powerless, okay I'll admit that I was being paranoid but with good reason.

But later that night when I was woken once again by noises, which at first I thought was just Lily and James getting a little over enthusiastic, I quickly detached myself from Harry and sunk through the floor into what could best be described as a war zone. Furniture was broken across the room, that nice leather loveseat was on fire, spells were flying back and forth, Lily and James were on one side of the room behind the flaming love seat and some old guy, which I later figured out was the Dark Lord himself, was with a large group of cloaked figures, some of which were dead on the ground or unconscious, I didn't care.

Seeing one of the figures about to hit Lily with a spell while she was distracted, I quickly shot straight through him, causing him to flinch momentarily, but long enough to get hit by one of James stray spells.

This sort of thing went on for a few hours, until Voldemort finally hit James with a stupefy and then an Advarda Kadabra, and it was then that Lily made a break for it, up the stairs and towards Harry's room. I shot straight through the ceiling into 'my room' and quickly re-entered the now awake and crying Harry. Just as I finished the re-entry process Lily came barrelling into the room and slammed the door shut. By now I was starting to panic because I wasn't willing to loose Lily too, I did the only thing I could do at the moment, I mentally started tugging on all the pockets of magic I had stored in the room, frantically replenishing my reserves. Suddenly the door burst open and in strode voldemort himself, guess in his old age he had a bit of trouble running up the stairs.

"NO! Not my baby, Not Harry!" Lily Screamed as Voldemort raised his wand and demanded she move aside.

As Lily Died I felt a powerful force rear up out of the ground and race towards Harry's body, but it was too late because Voldemort had already fired off the killing curse once again. Even as I saw Lily's spirit staring on with a defeated look I forced all my will into directing all of my magic and all that was left in the room into erecting as powerful a concentrated mass as I could, you could almost call it a shield spell but I didn't know how one was cast or constructed so it was the best I could muster with my current knowledge.

Sadly it wasn't as effective as I had hoped, granted it was half reflected back towards Voldemort but I was still hit, and promptly ejected out of Harry's body. And hurtling into Voldemort's, as I crashed through his mind I tried to cause as much damage as I could , but I also grabbed as much information as I could including parsletongue; but the disintegration of Voldemort's body once again ejected me out.

The hasty ejection caused me to be rather disoriented but the real shock came when I regained my senses and noticed a small child in my arms, looking a little closer it looked a lot like Harry, a sinking feeling suddenly hit me and I spun around to see Harry's limp form in the crib, and Lily's spectral form sunk over next to it, silver tears fell from her cheeks, only to disappear half way to the floor.

I slowly floated up to her and laid a hand on her shoulder, she suddenly stiffened, before quickly doing the equivalent of a Judo throw only for her hand to pass straight through me. Already seeing the lower half of her starting to fade away as she began to pass on I tried to calm her before passing Harry's squirming form into her arms. Lucky for him he was already dead or Lily might have broken every bone in his body from the force of the hug she gave him.

Mouthing out the words I'm sorry, to her questioning stare, she soon faded onto the next plane of existence were no doubt James had long since moved on too.

I turned around to try and fix the damage that had been done as best as I could, working on what I had gathered about how the Advarda Kadabra worked. The so called killing curse isn't as much a killing curse as a soul ejection curse. It basically makes the body temporarily eject its soul. The two problems that make it so dangerous are, most people haven't had any experience with leaving their body and returning after a little while and most people do something like what Lily had done she had left her body believing herself to be dead and had started mourning the death of her son. In doing so she had left her body without even trying to return into it.

I on the other hand quickly returned to what was now my body and began forcibly possessing the empty shell of a body before it started shutting down and the body became brain dead from lack of oxygen.

As I forced myself in I started to feel an aching throb which upon full re-entry exploded into a searing pain, enough pain that I wanted to scream out and beat my head into the wall, but I had one last thing to do, it had been so difficult to get into the body because of the ancient and primordial magic that started seeping into it with out much of a purpose other than to protect. I staved off bliss of unconsciousness long enough to alter and absorb the magic and weave it into a clumsy but adequate shell around my bodies inner chakra coils. With this done I started to slip away for a much needed rest, but not before hearing great pounding footsteps and seeing a great bushy head stare down at me. Knowing I was safe and that Hagrid was here I let go of everything and embraced the black.


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:

I don't own any of this stuff except for what are my own ideas.

I would just like to say before I start writing this that I have recently finished reading Barry Trotter and the shameless parody plus I have just finished the half blood prince and watching the first season of 'The Young Ones' on DVD. And added to that these first few chapters were written when I was really sick but to bored to sleep and I decided to write, plus I was listening to a number of Metallica albums including St. Anger.

You have been warned.

thoughts

"" speech

_italics_ spells

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**Chapter 1-Duresly's**

two days later

I had woken up the previous day to Petunia's uber bitchy face and the Vernon Duresly's fat piggish face, it was enough to make me cry as I realised that without Harry around I wouldn't be able to trade off time with him. Well this changed everything, I don't care how much they might beat me later on I'm not going to take shit from them, if they start beating on me I'll start using my magic to the best of my abilities to get back at them.

So far it hadn't been to bad, I got stuck with Dudley, they put me in the same room with him but not the same crib, in fact they didn't even get me a crib, they just threw a blanket or two at me and expected me to know what to do.

It was almost orphanage quality care, except orphanages usually give the babies a crib, even if multiple children are sharing one.

Fortunately the Duresly's had money so they had an insulated house with the proper heating and cooling systems, so I wasn't terribly cold. I was just hungry most of the time.

They only left me with a bottle once a day; Dudley got feed at least three to six times daily.

It was one of these days that I finally figured out how to refill my bottle using magic, I had been getting hungrier than usual and I figure my body was going into a growth spurt, well I didn't want to have my growth stunted like Harry would have, so I had been concentrating on my bottle refilling with something, anything that would feel me up and help the pains go away. It did feel up, but not with anything I had expected what it filled up with was a glowing green stuff, I almost didn't want to drink it, but hunger got the better of me.

It wasn't too bad either, it tasted of mint and after drinking the whole thing I didn't feel to bad, just really tired. I never really figured out were it came from but I had a number of ideas of were it might come from

I'm really starting to hate the Duresly's

Maybe they'll give me some reason to kill them later on; I'll at least make their life hell if they mess with me.

Several years later, about five

Things hadn't gotten much better, instead of giving me a bottle they'd chuck a few pieces of bread at me every once in a while, occasionally I'd get a piece of fruit or meat, but I tried to never give them a reason to beat me. But I had prevented my growth from being stunted, so I was slightly taller than Dudley. But were I made up for in height the little porker made up for in shear weight, Dudley was fat, really fat.

Just looking at him made me want to get in better shape, so I would never turn out like him.

I actually started doing something about my physical abilities, I found that if I imagined myself heavier and put a little magical force into it gravity would seem to increase for me, when I actually got a chance I checked on petunia's scale and I could increase my weight by double, but then it was difficult to stay standing, so I'd only increase it by half that.

This made me seem to be weak and easily tired, which brought some sort of perverse pleasure to Vernon, and he would often make fun of how I was so thin and weak.

I often wonder what it will be that finally makes the Duresly's decide that I need a beating, but to better avoid any chance I spent most of my time outside enjoying the sun and practicing parsletongue with normal garden snakes, I would usually make sure no one especially the Duresly's saw me doing this most 'freakish thing'.

I also continued to work on my primordial shield, during all the time I'd been at this hell hole I'd had lots of free time alone, most of that time I was just left alone, and I used that time to work on the shell I made. At first I just tried to strengthen and rework the clumsy weaving that I had set down the first night, but it was good that I had set it down so clumsily, if it had been more thoughtfully placed it would not have been as easy to alter, but as it was I was able to set it down for a wider array of things, I had thought that because it was of primordial design and was not so strict in its forms of protection I could manipulate it to my purpose. So through constant reweaving it began to evolve into something new, I have always admired Dragons and from memories of one of my many D&D books I had remembered the Dragonborn of Bahamat, and so I used that a base idea for my protective shell, but it was difficult and I probably won't have and physical manifestations until at least age twelve, which was what I was aiming for.

All I was able to get so far was a temporary lengthening of my fingernails into claws, and that only lasted for a minute or two about once or twice a day.

But Vernon will be a bit of trouble, he's got to be ten times my mass, if not more. I'll have to get strong and quick or he might get out of hand. And that could lead to beatings, which I won't let happen any time now.


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer:

I don't own any of this stuff except for what are my own ideas.

I would just like to say before I start writing this that I have recently finished reading Barry Trotter and the shameless parody plus I have just finished the half blood prince and watching the first season of 'The Young Ones' on DVD. And added to that these first few chapters were written when I was really sick but to bored to sleep and I decided to write, plus I was listening to a number of Metallica albums including St. Anger.

You have been warned.

thoughts

"" speech

_italics_ spells

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**Chapter 2- I'm not gonna take any shit from you asshole**

Seven years later

Today was what I could best guess to be my twelfth birthday, the previous week so many owls had been flooding the house with letters I was actually tempted to try and refuse the invitation just to find out how Bumbledork would react, I decided against it afterwards, if I didn't go I'd be stuck with this lot of losers.

I'd slowly worn the Duresly's down, they would beat me and I would remove the hyper gravity I had placed on myself and would beat the shit out of Vernon mainly, Petunia was just a bitch and never tried anything, Dudley was just a bloody little git and I instilled a little dragon fear in him.

I had almost perfected it too, probably just need to acquire some dragon leather or something to enforce the final changes.

But enough of that at the moment Vernon's packed everyone up and we've rented this absurd little lighthouse to get away from the owls, I'm just waiting for Hagrid to show up.

"Vernon honey, little Dud-kins wants to know why we have to stay in this horrid place" Petunia was saying as I stopped thinking about the past and came back to the present.

oh just great now their staring at me again

"What the fuck are you looking at?" I said getting up off the floor were I'd been sitting so Vernon wouldn't think I was vulnerable enough to bother trying something.

"We're looking at you **boy**, it's your fault we're here" Vernon growled out

oh now that's a laugh

"like hell it is you dumb shit, if you had just let me answer that letter you wouldn't be stuck in this mess to begin. And don't you start blaming those letters on me, I don't know who sent them." I said cutting off his next complaint.

"Well then boy you're sleeping on the floor tonight "Vernon looked happy with himself as he said this

"Right ya stupid pig, like you'd have it any other way. Anyways I'll be outside I'm expecting someone, so don't bother looking for me tomorrow I'll be gone for a while." I shouted back at him as he went up the tinny stairs that separated the two levels of the tower.

"It better not be anymore of those **Goth** friends, you know I won't have anymore of those weird freaks around, they're almost as bad as those wizards."

Vernon weakly yelled back, he obviously needed a lot of sleep.

I had gotten a couple of friends in my time a Dudley's school, mostly they were the misfits or those who didn't like the popular people, Dudley's school was a both an elementary school as well as a high school, so I found my own little group of friends, most were older than me, some though were about the same age, these friends had helped me get the kind of clothing I wanted, I just take some money from Vernon's wallet every once in a while and pass it on in exchange for black shirts and pants, plus some other things on occasions.

Hearing no reply back from the fat bastard, I wandered outside, and sat down on the steps and turned on my iPod, which I had bought with Vernon's money one time the Duresly's had bothered to take me to the mall with them. Vernon never figured out where that money went. And I used Dudley's computer to put songs on it.

several hours later, early morning

Damn it, when is Hagrid going show up, it's not like he has to walk all the way….Oh there he is, should I act stupid or just get on with it? "About bloody time, dumb jackass that motorcycles gonna wake everyone up, can't have that now can we?"

I quickly pulled out my hand crafted wand and tapped the wall of the lighthouse causing a barely visible distortion in the air as I silenced the outside sound from inside the structure.

I had made my wand last year out of Rowan wood, one of the neighbours had some growing in their yard so I got myself some and made two, twins at that, they were okay and I got a donation from one of the local pets of the cat lady, apparently her cats aren't really cats, their just under a magical disguise. Would have to look in a book about magical creatures but they're these double tailed winged dragon-cat things with a mixture of fur and scales all over their body, I just took a couple hairs from her big tom.

"Hullo dere, arry"

well looks like he's here, well here goes

"Oy, oo are you then?" I said as I quickly tucked my wand away and shut off my iPod.

"I don't surpose use be membering me much arry, nly saws youse once whens youse was but ah wee boy. I is Agrid "

"Well what're doing here then?"

"I'ves ome ta takes youse ta daigon alley arry, afters you reads dis ere etter froms Ead AsterUmbledore"

said Hagrid as he handed me the letter.

I reached into a pocket and transfigured a rock I had into a little letter opener, a stone one of course, which I then used to cut open the envelope.

"Lets see here, Dear Harry Potter yadda yadda yadda, Professor Albus yadda yadda Supreme Mugwump man guys sure got an ego Hogwarts whatever might as well goes, got nothing better to do until I'm old enough to get laid. Well Hagrid, lets be going and the like."

Leaky Cauldron

When Hagrid and I arrived at the leaky cauldron no one seemed to give me and real attention, which made sense as I was wearing all black and I had long hair covering the scare, although a couple people greeted Hagrid, but aside from that everything went smoothly.

But when Hagrid pulled out the pink parasol I had trouble not laughing, but I made sure to memorise the pattern to open the arch and memorise what the magical energy actually did, because if I ever forgot the pattern I could just activate the thing like an on/off switch without even touching it. After all if I couldn't get a simple enchantment like that to activate, how was I going to have a chance against the rest of the wizarding world?

"Ond eres Aigon Ally, So Wat yah ink Arry?" Hagrid said, spreading his arms wide.

"About what? This cramped place or the fact I think your over the legal limit?" I said as I took in Daigon Alley for the first time, locating all the side streets and good places to duck into if I needed to make myself scarce.

"Wat wuz dat arry?" Hagrid said after carefully thinking over what I had said, or as carefully as a drunk can

"It's nice, in a small and cramped way." I said, laying on the sarcasm nice and heavy

"Ah, 's nice" which was completely missed by Hagrid.

"Ell, ets ee oing den" the games keepers said as he started dragging me through the crowd.

"Let go of me right now Rubeous Hagrid, or so help me god I'll pipe you here and now and leave your bruised and battered body in one of these side streets to raped by mangy dogs." I yelled with as much force in my voice as possible while summoning my 'special' pipe

"Wut? Yuze coulda tolled Meh dat Arry, No needs ta Ell at May" an embarrassed Hagrid mumbled into his beard

"I'm not some naughty little boy who needs to be dragged along to the shops you big oaf, so don't do it again, okay Hagrid?" I said brandishing my pipe

"Es arry, orry arry" By now a crowd had gathered to watch as this little kid…no, this little punk told off a slightly sloshed Hogwarts teacher. And boy did I look the punkish picture, faded blue jeans with black leather combat boots a pair of spiked wristbands a sleeveless shirt covered by a ripped denim vest, showing off my lean tightly corded muscular arms, Pierced ear with a small spike through it, and a metal pipe.

Now before I go any farther let me tell you about my 'special' pipe, it isn't really as special as you might think. You see when I turned around about nine, maybe a little under nine, that fat git Vernon decided that maybe he should start beating the 'freak' to relieve some of his frustration that was building up from work among other things, now he got home and decided it would be a great way to start the weekend. I on the other hand had just come home from beating up a bunch of little shits from school who had jumped me on the way home. I just happened to have found a nice pipe in that ally and promptly used it to beat them within a foot of the life, as opposed to an inch which might have left permanent damage to their body, short and simple I beat'em up real good and taught them a lesson. Well there I was a nice bit of adrenaline going through my system and me uncle was about to start hav'in a go at me, something I needed to nip at the bud, I let him get the first hit in just ta see if he had the guts to. I barely felt the first hit, but I concentrated on the first rule of magic I could remember and that was the law of ownership; were in an object that you view as yours can be easily summoned. Anyways I let my uncle have it, laid into him for the next ten minutes. Hurt him a lot more than I thought, you see that hyper gravity thing I had activated affected stuff I touched, so that pipe weighted a hell of a lot more than it normally would.

It was funny come Monday when Vernon had to explain to his boss that he couldn't come into work that week because his nine year old nephew beat the shit out of him over the weekend.

Well back to the story.

"What the hell are you lot looking at, huh?" I yelled at the crowd of mainly older wizarding folk, but a few younger kids were scattered among them, probably getting school supplies like I was supposed to be.

Looks like I even caught the eyes of a few shy little girls too If I keep this up maybe I can get laid sooner than I thought.

"Go on, get, move on nothing to see here…Well rack off you lot!" still nobody seemed willing to move

"Come on Hagrid lets get going, I got school supplies to purchase." A muttered as I pushed through the crowd brandishing my pipe, and dragging the half giant along.

I only stopped to tap the gringott's bank plaque, but making sure not to actually look at it.

When I finally stopped dragging an out of breath Hagrid I'd arrived at the front desk with key in hand, which I had pinched from Hagrid's pocket.

"And how may I be off service today?" said the goblin as he stared at the two of us.

"You can start by telling me who the hell you are, I'm Harry and that's Hagrid and this is my vault key, I'm here to make a withdrawal." I snapped back holding my key up for the little guy to see and resting my pipe on my shoulder with the other hand.

"Ah mister potter, come right this way I was informed of your immanent arrival, I am hangnail." #**Womp**# I had to stomp on Hagrids foot to stop his snickers. "Would you like to make your withdrawal now?" Hangnail said cracking a smile at my pipe, which I had long ago crudely scratched in Norse runes from a muggle library I'd found '_Beating Stick_'

"Well sure, lead the way." I said grinning the whole way, he wouldn't be so happy when he found out what the plaque out front now read, '_Gringotts, Screwing you over every Galleon Sickle and Knut since we learned how_'.

The ride to the vault was rather nice, except Hagrid kept feeling sick and Hangnail had to slow down for many of the 'larger' drops. I insisted that we stop off and finish Hagrid's business first, so when Hagrid sat back down in the cart and Hangnail was re-locking the vault I swapped the little brown paper wrapped packages with one of my own.

When I finally got to my vault I browsed through it and picked up a couple little trinkets that I figured James probably left for me to take to school and I filled a supplied bag with some galleons and some sickles.

I lost myself in thought until the cart came to a jerking halt. I almost got out first, but Hagrid brushed me aside as he rushed over to a corner to deposit what was left of his breakfast. "Damn it Hagrid! At least you waited until we had stopped" I yelled across the room to the retching games keeper "Hey Hangnail?" I whispered to the goblin as he anchored the cart in place.

"Yes mister potter?" he whispered back "has anyone been pilfering money from my vaults?" I queried him. "why yes mister potter, why do you ask?" Hangnail said looking slightly confused

"Who?...Who has been pilfering my money?" I said tapping the end of my pipe against my shoulder "Why Mr. Albus Dumbledore your caretakers has been, didn't you give permission for him to?" Hangnail said starting to understand what I was getting at. "No actually, I didn't, haven't seen the man in my life. In fact I didn't even know he was my caretaker until you told me." I growled out through clenched teeth, damn bastard was pilfering my loot.

"Well mister potter, we'll just have to remove his access then won't we" Hangnail said with a vicious smirk on his wrinkled face, revealing sharp pointy yellow and brownish teeth.

"Yes I'd think you'd want to do that, I don't want that old bastard taking my loot, especially without my permission. Make sure he never has access to those vaults again." I said mimicking Hangnail's smirk down to everything thing but the colour of the teeth and the wrinkly skin. I told you I'd get the dragon thing down soon enough.

"Come on Hagrid I gotta git ma stuff fer school." I yelled towards the no longer retching form of Hagrid

Once out of Gringott's we headed toward Flourish & Blotts were I grabbed my books for the year, plus slipped in a number of extra books while Hagrid wasn't looking I then bought a self shrinking multi-compartment trunk to put my stuff in.


	4. Chapter 3

**  
**

Disclaimer:

I don't own any of this stuff except for what are my own ideas.

I would just like to say before I start writing this that I have recently finished reading Barry Trotter and the shameless parody plus I have just finished the half blood prince and watching the first season of 'The Young Ones' on DVD. And added to that these first few chapters were written when I was really sick but to bored to sleep and I decided to write, plus I was listening to a number of Metallica albums including St. Anger.

You have been warned.

thoughts

"" speech

_italics_ spells

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**Chapter 3 – attack of the annoying bleached blonde super nazi**

After Hagrid convinced me to go off and get something to eat at the leaky cauldron we headed back into Daigon Alley to get me a cauldron.

"Oh hello Deary how can I help you today" ask a nice little lady, grandmother was the first thing that came to mind when I saw her. She was one of those people that just remind you of your grandmother, she was small and plump and had a healthy glow about her that just seemed to radiated joy and happiness.

"I'd like to get a cauldron for school, please" I said thinking it would be extremely bad karma to be rude to this woman.

"oh, sure thing deary, right this way" due to the small size of the shop Hagrid was reluctant to go in, I agreed and told him to wait outside and have something to drink. He obviously thought it was a great idea.

"These should be about what your looking for deary, first year right?" the little shop keeper said showing me some nice new cauldrons "yes….umm do you have any cauldron's that self scurgify in case I make a mess of a potion?" I said looking over the selection "oh yes deary right here, this one is what your looking fo…." The old lady was saying before we were rudely interrupted "Old Woman, I wish to be served now" an annoying and whinny voice came from the entrance of the small shop "Just a moment deary, I'm with another customer at the moment" she replied in a kind voice even in light of how rude the other person was being.

After a couple seconds in which I established my willingness to buy the cauldron the whinny voice spoke up again but this time just behind me "I demand to be served ahead of this mud blood trash, I am of pure blood and therefore and this trashes better in every wa#CLANK#" went the cauldron in my hand as I spun around, forgetting that I was holding it. "Who's calling me a mud blood?" there on the floor was some little bleach blonde kid in rich wizards clothing.

"Oh mister malfoy sir are you okay?" asked the little shop keeper as she started to help him up "here you go mam, I believe this is the required amount." I said as I handed the kind little witch the money and walked out, purposely stepping on one of Draco's hands on the way out.

Outside the cauldron shop

When I got outside the cauldron shop low and behold a crowd had gathered around Hagrid and a couple of other guy, who had just finished some sort of drinking contest, naturally the already sloshed half-giant had accepted and won without too much trouble. A shout from across the street towards were the cauldron shop was located alerted me to the running figure of Draco, when he finally caught up to me he was out of breath. Stupid wizard kids, never get that much exercise, well guess I'll just be getting more girls with this kind of competition, all the better for me.

"Do you know who I am you filthy Mud blood, I am Draco Malfoy and I won't just stand by after being assaulted like that." He blurted out between gasps of air "And what are you going to do about it you weeny?" I taunted him, oh I was just waiting for it sooner or later he'd bring his father into this "Do you know who my Father is you Mud blood?" Bingo "OH! MY! GOD! Somebody Help!" I yelled for everyone around us up and down the street to hear.

Malfoy started to smirk, thinking he'd scared me and I was starting to panic "This poor boy doesn't know who his father is, does anyone know who this boy's father is?" Malfoy smirk dropped right off his face and his face started to turn a distinct pinkish red. Wether this was from embarrassment or anger I'm not sure at the moment.

Numerous people started to laugh or chuckle as they figured out what was happening, I just walked away as the weeny sputtered and gaped trying to save face in any sort of way "I'll get you for this, you here me!" he finally yelled at me "just try it ya weeny" I yelled back as I followed Hagrid for what I figured would be his favourite part of the trip, besides the drinking, the pet shop.

Upon entering the shop my senses were assailed my the smell of all the animals and the noise that most of them made, Hagrid looks like he'd lit up a joint and was starting to feel the effects "I is ins Eaven arry" he said with the look of a kid in a candy store, it reminded me that inside he was still a kid; I'm pretty sure he got hit a little too hard by one of those animals when he was young, brain damage just explained his behaviour way too well.

"Yes Hagrid, you are in heaven, I'll just leave you to it while I go find something" I mumbled as I wandered deeper into the large store.

I actually felt quite giddy as I walked along the many isles filled with care packets and accessories, bags or barrels of food, tanks and cages, and finally different pets from different parts of the world I didn't find much of interest until I got to the reptile section. Among the frogs, toads, turtles, lizards and snakes was one particularly large cage filled with little winged dragon things, I stood there watching as one small one was picked on by all the others but continually fought them off "I see you've noticed our new stock young man" said a voice behind me. "Uh, yeah I'm interested in getting one of those little dragon things, but aren't dragons illegal?" I asked turning around to see the old man who owned the pet shop

"Oh quite right young man, but you see these aren't dragons, they're little miniature Wyverns, this batch were breed from a subspecies of the Hungarian Horntail, although they're suppose to be almost as vicious and short tempered as the real thing, the only reason the aren't illegal is because they don't get much bigger than a small dog and they don't seem to eat as much. So would you still like to get one?" He said giving me an appraising look.

"Sure thing, just as long as they don't cost an arm and a leg if you get what I mean." I replied looking at the one that had been selected by the others as a beating toy, but didn't seem to agree with the idea.

"Oh dear me no, they don't cost much at all, have been having trouble selling them to start with, everyone is afraid to get one. It has really affected the price. Well which one would you like?"

"I'd like that one, right there." I said pointing at the one who had been singled out. "Oh why would you want that one, that one over there looks to be in better shape and that one over there is bigger?" the old man asked clearly puzzled by my choice. "Oh, it just reminds me of me, when my stupid muggle uncle sent me to some lame ass muggle school; I got singled out a lot and I often had fights with some of the jocks and popular kids." I stated simply "Oh, well sorry to hear that boy. Here, use these gloves to pick out your choice, I'm much to old and slow to get one before it darts out of the way, and that will be three galleons." He said handing me a pair of thick leather gloves, I handed him the three galleons and darted my hand into the cage and grabbed the mini wyvern before it new what hit it.

It wasn't until I got out of the shop that I realised two things,

One the mini wyvern I thought was really tired from fighting was just being slowly crushed into the floor of the cage I'd gotten for it, due to my hyper gravity field.

And two, Hagrid was still inside "Oh, shit!" I quickly put the cage on the ground and got out my trunk. I put the cage in one of the compartments, shrunk the trunk shoved it into my pocket and raced back into the shop.

Ten Minutes Later

"WWAAAAAAHHHHHHH, Ise Wana Eeps Em Alls WWWAAAAAAHHH!" I had to drag a crying, scraping, blubbering and generally whiney Hagrid out of the pet shop. After apologising to the shop keeper I found out that this wasn't the first time Hagrid had come in drunk and tried to take all the pets, but because a large portion of the stock was breed by Hagrid and he was generally such a nice guy it was accepted in stride.


	5. Chapter 4

**  
**

Disclaimer:

I don't own any of this stuff except for what are my own ideas.

I would just like to say before I start writing this that I have recently finished reading Barry Trotter and the shameless parody plus I have just finished the half blood prince and watching the first season of 'The Young Ones' on DVD. And added to that these first few chapters were written when I was really sick but to bored to sleep and I decided to write, plus I was listening to a number of Metallica albums including St. Anger.

You have been warned.

thoughts

"" speech

_italics_ spells

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**Chapter 4 – Vampire chicks are hot.**

Early next morning I woke up still tired, sore and much bigger than I should be; almost like I had a growth spurt. "Ugh…damn wonder what I did last night, nothings coming to…oh yeah, heh magic life is great." Concentrating for a bit I felt my body slowly change back to Harry's, something I was thankful for figuring out a long time ago. Hearing a bit of movement and a sudden gasp I looked over, from were I was putting my clothes back on, towards the bed and the other occupant. God, vampire chicks are hot, especially the younger ones, and what a chick she was. "What? What happened, you're not the guy from yesterday!" she seemed to get an almost forceful look on her face as she got a good look at me and noticed the similarities between me and mini me "Why you little bastard, I ought to tell your mother what you've done, damn she will probably be looking for you. You little shit! Think this is funny do you? I'm going to get blamed for this." She got really pale, if that is possible, as she thought about the penalties for kidnapping a child. "You stupid, stupid little shit! You'll pay for this!" she yelled lunging towards me.

I quickly skidded to the side as a tangle of sheet and vampire hit the floor "Damn, I could hit that from the back again." I said catching a glimpse of her ass somewhere in among the sheets. This only seemed to make her fury greater as she seemed to rip the sheets to shreds, she slowly stalked towards me as it rained sheet strips; Only to stop short as she noticed the smirk on my face and the casual air about me. "Little boy, do you know how much trouble your in and how much I could hurt you?" she asked, lunging towards me hoping to get a fearful reaction, well I gave her a reaction.

Without seeming to put any effort into it I grabbed one of her incoming arms and, using a revised judo throw, threw her to the ground were I pinned her down and using the mass of my weighted clothing simply sat on her. Letting a bit of magic leak into my eyes, so it looked like lightning was leaking from them I looked down into her face "Well **little** girl, I don't think I'm in any trouble at all; I paid you, I even donated a bit of blood, then I had a good time. And what the hell do you care about my mother, she'd just be happy I'm still alive." I said as I let the illusion around my scar fade.

Now this really got a reaction out of her as she almost seemed to panic, it was well known that during Old Voldy's reign of terror a large portion of the vampire population had backed his ideas and many even helped him. Fear showed on her face as she realised what would happen to her if people thought she had kidnapped 'the boy who lived' it would be the end of her. With strength born of fear she pushed me off and jumped back, looking towards the window she could see light streaming in through the smallest of cracks in the windows, so the option of fleeing that way was out; vampires could only travel in heavy cloaks during the day. The only other way out…..was through the door right behind me. Quickly slamming my hand on the door I let loose a locking charm and a muffling charm, really just a poor and easy to cast silencing charm, everyone who went by would just think that I the customer was just having another go before I left.

Just look at him standing their all smug like he owns the world, doesn't he know I could rip him in two? I could snap him like a twig, but what is he? He felt like he weighed a ton. Angel thought as she crouched in the corner across the room from the door. Angel wasn't stupid, she knew what would happen if it became public knowledge that she had kidnapped 'the boy who lived', there wouldn't even be a trial to let her prove her innocence. People would believe that she had done it and there would be public outcries if she got off with anything less than Azkaban or worse.

No she wasn't stupid, but she wasn't very experienced either. Angel had only been a vampire for five years now, but with a life growing up on the streets she knew no one would miss her, the way she had been turned even proved that. But Angel had found work here recently; it wasn't the best of places, but it was sure a hell of a lot better than a lot of other places in Knock turn alley. But now she was at risk of losing her only job, and if she was lucky she might never get another one this good, if she wasn't lucky she wouldn't need a job anyway. No! I won't give up I just have to get past him and out of here. Well here goes nothing, Goddess protect me.

Making up her mind Angel rushed forwards and towards the door putting all her strength into her charge, her only thought was getting past the boy.

Ah damn, she looks serious here, better end it quickly before it gets to be too much of a problem. Dropping into a basic horse stance I shot a chi spike into the ground, anchoring myself to the spot and simultaneously using it as a tap to bring up energy. As she got within range I gathered chi into my arm and then concentrated it into one point in the middle of my palm, with a slow reverse windmill like movement I slammed my palm into her stomach at the last moment.

The moment my palm made contact a whoosh of air left Angels mouth as the wind was knocked out of her and she went flying across the room and landed right in the bed, and falling unconscious as her head slammed into the large oak headboard.

Staring down at the unconscious form I was made well aware of why I had enjoyed myself so much the previous night, long legs following up to a tight stomach, long black hair and a beautiful face. Damn this is going to be fun to do, can't wait to see her reaction when she wakes up. I thought as I started weaving some humorous illusions around the bed and the room. This will freak her out so much; to finish it off I took the manacles that were provided, attached to the bed posts, and manacled her arms and legs.

Angel's mind slowly began the arduous journey to consciousness, but was jolted forwards at the throbs of pain emanating from her head and her stomach Goddess I feel like little gnomes are beating my head with pickaxes, wha...? Angel thought as she suddenly noticed she was in a dark and dead forest, twisted spectres of ancient trees loomed down on her from all around, and all around her head were little…men? Little men with little pickaxes, slowly methodically beating her head "Goddess save me I've gone crazy!" Angel yelled out. "Mwahahahaha" came a voice as a cloaked figure walked into view carrying a bowl and brush, his face very familiar. "Bastard! What have you done to me? When I get out of this you'll pay!" Angel yelled at me as I pulled off the hood, revealing my face "Oh silly child, if only you knew the truth of what I'm going to do to you." Taking the brush I dipped it into the bowl and then began to draw a circle on her stomach and then symbols around it; by now the ruby red colour of the substance identified it as blood.

What is he doing? Why is he doing this Angel was starting to panic, her headache had gone away when the little men had packed up and run off, but her stomach was still in a lot of pain. "What the hell are you doing to me you filthy bastard?" Angel growled out as she thrashed around and tried to get out of the manacles. "Nothing much, just resurrecting an ancient engine of destruction; but I must use you as its host first, otherwise it can't come into this world Mwahahahhahahahhaha, isn't it wonderful." With that I finished drawing imaginary symbols and slowly held the bowl to Angel's mouth "Drink!" I said putting some force into my voice and tipping the blood into her mouth. With that done I activated the final stages of the illusion and what was possibly the hardest to maintain, because the way it was made, one mistake and the whole thing might go glitchy. Positioning myself over Angel's stomach with one hand in the middle of the circle I began to chant the most plausible gibberish I could think of at the moment, with that done I jumped back and activated the very last part of the illusion "Now, come forth, my creature of chaos and despair!".

What's going on, what's going to happen to me? I don't want to die again! Angel was beginning to panic as a bulge began to form on her stomach and something began to move, it was almost as if something was trapped under her skin and was trying to get out I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die! kept going over in her mind as the skin stretched farther and farther, Suddenly in an explosion of gore a bloody little mouth popped through and began to thrash around as the hole became wider and wider, slowly the rest of the body started to come out. It was only then that Angel realised the screaming she heard wasn't the creature but her I'm gonna to die I'm gonna to die I'M GOING TO DIE!

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! YOU FILTHY LITTLE BASTARD, I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" As the little monster finally freed itself and lunged for Angel's face everything suddenly just stopped.

Well it's getting late into the morning, Hagrid will be waking up soon, gotta wrap this up. I thought as I snapped my fingers and everything stopped "well this has been fun…Angel, nice name, but unfortunately I have to go, must meet Hagrid and all…" I trailed off as I grabbed my coat and released the illusion.

My god, just an illusion, a fucking illusion. Angel thought to herself as the entire forest and the frozen little monster began to crack and fall apart like broken glass, before completely fading away.

As I opened the door and left Angel in a state of shock I almost ran into the manager, a great big muscle bound kind of man, god I'd swear he has as much giant heritage as Hagrid.

"Is something wrong" I said as I looked up at him.

"Been hearing a lot of screaming, what's going on?" he boomed down at me "Well isn't screaming usual in this sort of place, along with many other noises?" I said looking up at him with a stupid grin on my face "You know what I mean, is everything alright Angel?" he inquired looking in at the chained up but totally healthy looking form of Angel, casting a questioning glance at the drawing on her stomach. "y...ye...yes" she mumbled out still in quite shaken up

"sheesh, she sure is ticklish, well I'll be going now." I said out loud as I wandered down the hallways, down the stairs, across the reception area and out the doors.

outside and near Knock Turn Alley's entrance

"There he is father, that's the one I told you about" oh dear god, give me the strength not to kill this one and devour the flesh. turning around on my heel I saw Draco and his father walking towards me.

"see father, that's him". Draco said with an almost giddy tone to his voice, probably expecting me to be afraid now that his father was around. "So you are the boy huh, I'm surprised they let trash walk around here, I always thought there were much better standards here than Daigon Alley." Luscious said as he stared down at me, almost challenging me to say something in return. now he's going to get it, just can't kill him…must control urge. I truly struggled to control myself, I truly did. "Yeah I know it's terrible around here, and what's worse it seems to be breeding too, god have mercy on us all." I said looking over at Draco, before turning around and walking away. I don't know what pissed him off more, my insult about him and his son being trash or the fact that I turned my back on him like he wasn't worth my time.

I had to hit the ground as I felt a build up of magic energy, and then the sudden discharge in my direction.

Jumping up, I started to run in Luscious' general direction as I had to dodge to the side as several spells flew past me. My anger at the gall of him attacking me in the middle of the street fuelled the force behind my blow as I buried my fist in gut, I've been doing that sort of thing a lot recently. As he crumpled over gasping for air I marvelled at how weak these wizard folk were, they relied on their magic so much, there physical skills were shit, to be quite frank "next time you attempt that Luscious I'll rip out your cold dead heart and force feed it to your son, before I anally rape him with a lead pipe" I whispered into Luscious's ear as he struggled to regain his breath. Draco finally broke out of his shock and ran at me; I cracked him in the nuts nice and hard. "See you at Hogwarts, Draco." I said as I walked away. Go me.

Two hours later

Once Hagrid and I had finished up with the rest of the supplies I needed, plus some extra stuff I picked up for my own reasons of which Hagrid was too busy looking for some of the stuff he needed for his micro brewery that he apparently had back at Hogwarts. After that I made a final stop at Gringotts to change half of the money I had left over into normal money that I could use in the main part of the city, once that little trip was over Hagrid lead me back towards the entrance to daigon alley.

"Now 'Arry, S'ing as I's gots stuff ta do, t'ink 'ou can git 'ome yourselfs?" Hagrid asked me as the brick archway opened up before us. "Sure, whatever, knock yourself out Hagrid; I've got my own plans to fill the rest of the day." I said as I opened the door and pushed myself through the crowd to the bar counter and ordered a butterbeer. "O 'Arry I's almost be ferget'n this…'ought t'would be eh good 'irthday present…..now were'd she get to?…A' ere she' be." Hagrid said handing me a very ruffled looking snowy owl, fishing through his pockets a bit more he pulled out a Cage. "Hey thanks Hagrid, but why didn't you just put the owl in the cage?" Hagrid had the decentcey to look embarrassed before I dropped off the stool and popped the owl into my trunk before re-shrinking it and said my good byes to Hagrid; followed by my quick departer into 'my' world or as some would call it, the muggle world.


	6. Chapter 5

**  
**

Disclaimer:

I don't own any of this stuff except for what are my own ideas.

I would just like to say before I start writing this that I have recently finished reading Barry Trotter and the shameless parody plus I have just finished the half blood prince and watching the first season of 'The Young Ones' on DVD. And added to that these first few chapters were written when I was really sick but to bored to sleep and I decided to write, plus I was listening to a number of Metallica albums including St. Anger.

You have been warned.

thoughts

"" speech

_italics_ spells

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**Chapter 5 – Muggles make the best music**

Well once I was outside the leaky cauldron I wandered into the city to get myself some stuff.

Shopping is only ever really any fun when you have a load of cash and some time to waste, well I had a hell of a lot of cash and the exchange rate for wizard to muggle money was great at the moment. So man did I have cash to spend and how, after stopping by a few of my favourite shops and picking up a load of music and a surround sound system I wandered into a shop I ventured into only ever to see how some of my friends from school was doing, but often wished I had the money to get some of the stuff they sold.

Walking in I noticed that Jason and Morgan were working today, they noticed me too as I walked in, they looked rather happy to see me. I had always had a crush on Morgan, but I was way too young and it would probably cause a little problem with her twin brother Jason, Jason can be really protective at times. "Hey Morgan, Hey Jason, hows it hanging today" I said intentionally mixing up who was named who, it was a long and running joke we shared that stemmed from the fact they were twins, even if they didn't look anything alike.

"Hey Tank, going okay, you?" they replied in perfect unison, using the one nickname that had stuck throughout all the time I'd known them at school, at least until they graduated the previous year. It really was a shame Morgan saw me more as her little adopted baby, then someone who would maybe had enough potential to become serious with. "Very good my friends, very good indeed." I said slamming a large wad of cash down onto the counter "And I feel the need for some new stuff" Shocked sputtering was all I got until Morgan voiced her opinion of the wad "What the hell, are those real?" she muttered, picking them up and flipping through them "Damn right there real, got them right from the bank tellers hands, they sure as hell better be real. "damn, your uncle is going to be pissed when he finds out your using his credit card again." Morgan said, finally finishing counting the wad "Naw Jason ma man, I got this from another source, this time I got it all legit. Get this, my parents left me this bank vault crammed fun of cash, so I can attend some prissy preppy private school in Scotland until I graduate, can you believe that?" I said walking over to the magazine rack and grabbing a couple interesting mags before putting them down on the counter "is that all, or were you like planing on use all that dough here?" Jason said, finally regaining his hold on reality. "Hah, you think I'm going to wave this amount of cash in your faces and just get a few mags? No way in hell, I want as much shit as I can get.

By the time I'd left I had taken a large portion of the stores accessory stock and almost everything they had in the two sizes I wore, why I didn't I enchant the stuff to change sizes for me was simply because each size had different stuff, not everything was the same. Jason and Morgan had seen me use a little bit of magic, a couple of my other friends had minor magical skills too, but seeing a little palm sized replica trunk suddenly turn into a full sized multi compartment trunk was enough to give the both of them a bit of a start; but that was quickly taken care of as I mentioned that they would have to restock the shelves once I'd left or other people might not find anything that fit them. With my shopping taken care of I made one final stop at a hard ware store within walking distance of the Duresly's, I bought a bunch of bar steel and some copper, plus a couple packs of ten metre nylon webbing, thin and wide, and could hold an ox down if tied properly. Damn I was going to have some fun. But as I left the hard ware store I noticed it was starting to get dark, so for the lack of anything to do until a special party down at our local haunt Morgan had mentioned remembering. Steven the clubs manager, was having his twenty-first and he was throwing a massive party with all sorts of deals to celebrate. So I set off for the Duresley's, to drop off my trunk

I went back to the Dursley's to drop off my stuff. Once back I changed form and got into some of the new cloths I'd bought, damn I look good tonight; quickly looking through one of my books I memorised a locking spell and used that to lock everything up except my two pets, who I let loose in my room, locking the door I left the currently empty house "wonder when the old bastard will get back?" I said voicing my thoughts, something which I had a habit of doing and which had gotten me in a hell of a lot of trouble in the past. Holding out my Wand to hail the knight bus, like I had done numerous times before when I went into the city to party, I had little trouble getting by the bouncer was the only real hang up on my way to the party, damn I sure hate it when they get a new guy who only lets the babes and his friends through I really hate wankers like that, well hope Steven wouldn't mind having to get a new Bouncer, Philip was a good bouncer, sometimes I wondered if he was psychic, his ability to judge if some one was trouble was that good.

day of trip to Hogwarts

Packing wasn't really a problem for me, just shoved everything I wasn't wearing into my trunk and shrunk it, promptly placing it into my pocket. Looking round my room just incase I had missed something my eye fell on my bandolier of throwing knives, which I had made since I had been to the hardware store.

I spent a lot of my time working out and reading the books I got, I seemed to excel in transfiguration. I found little if any trouble changing the shape of things, really it was easily; my main trouble was changing one element to another, I could still probably do better than a third year. Having the understanding and knowledge from a previous life full of education in chemistry, physics and much more gave me a pretty good idea of how magic affected these things. My best guess was that because of the basic principle of energy being converted to mass and Vice versa, magic just took away or added to the element in question and therefore changed it from one thing to another.

It was just easy reading, to make things interesting I added some Potions and D.A.D.A. to my reading.

Finally, the day I was officially unleashed into the wizarding world had come, may the powers that be have mercy on the souls of everyone at Hogwarts, cause I sure as hell wasn't planning on it.

My little Wyvern had gone thru a few growth spurts since I had bought it, it still fit in its cage though.

Due to constant exposure to my hyper gravity field it had grown in strength too; all I think that happened was that it was fighting so much that it was never able to get enough food, that's why it was smaller didn't seem to be doing to good. By now I'm sure if I popped him back in the cage it could beat the others to a pulp with only minimum injury to itself.


	7. Chapter 6

Disclaimer:

I don't own any of this stuff except for what are my own ideas.

Warning, i don't take shit from anyone, if someone messed with me i'd mess with them. If you haven't noticed i don't really like Draco, i'm going to make his life hell.

You have been warned.

thoughts

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_italics_ spells

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**Chapter 6 – The goon squad and the annoying little miss perfect**

Looking across the platform I wondered at the blindness of the people around me, just were I was in the past two minutes I'd seen twelve kids run through a wall.

On my way towards the portal I took a look around me and inwardly smirked as all those who had been waiting with their carts suddenly had something important to do, guess I look to much like a muggle, especially since all my luggage is in my shrinking trunk in my pocket. I almost made it to the opening to platform 9¾ before some little girl yelled out to her mother "Mommy, that boy hasn't started running yet, won't he crash into the wall?" her witch mother tried to shush her and I decided to ignore her as I passed through the opening didn't really think it would make much difference whether or not I ran or walked.

God, now I know why they run through; that was a really weird experience almost had the tugging sensation of a port key should have, a weird tugging and pulling around my navel….wait is that it? Is this platform portal just some altered port key that can be used at the convenience of those who don't have the time or money to get a port key? Well damn, wonder what they have to do to maintain an enchantment that uses that amount of energy and is that strong that it can transport children and their carts one after another in quick succession?

Looking around the platform my observant eyes were drawn to the revolting behemoth that was the Hogwarts Express in all its red and ancient glory; why they didn't just arrange a faster and more efficient form of transport can only be another stupid quirk of wizard society, If they can make a port key than they should be able to arrange something to take everyone to Hogsmeade.

I mean come on, they are surrounded by a society that while unable to use magic, is so advanced in technology that much of it almost seems like magic itself, and just how do these wizards decide to live? They live in medieval style houses with straw thatch roofs, if they have lots of money or maybe some sense of modern taste they might decide to at least upgrade to some wooden shingles, maybe wooden shingles. They don't even have decent paved roads; while cobbled streets are rather nice if you want a historical experience, but they really are a terrible tripping hazard if you aren't paying close attention to your feet, in the condition that daigon alley streets I wonder how many people trip and severely injure themselves from little accidents.

Quickly looking back and forth at all the adults and children walking around the large platform I walked through the gaps in the crowds until I was right inside the entry to one of the passenger cars, figuring finding a seat sooner rather than later would be wise if I wanted to prevent myself from being stuck with idiots. I wandered down the middle of the car looking in at each compartment until I spotted a nice third or fourth year girl seated by herself, reading a large and old looking tome, so I did the only natural thing that I could think of make myself at home, I waltzed in and flopped myself down across the bench opposite this girl; I turned on my ipod as I looked across at my fellow Hogwartian passenger, looking for a name or some form of identification to identify this girl my eyes settled on her trunk above her ,the name on the trunk said 'Cassandra Winterbourne'. Cassandra sure wasn't sore on the eyes or any other organ for that matter, long straight black hair, pale spotlessly smooth porcelain skin, high cheek bones which accent her slightly inhuman partially slitted golden eyes and looking at her aura…she sure isn't quite fully human, slight mixture is really showing up in the aura. Father or mother must be a vampire, cause she has a very similar aura type to that babe in knock-turn. And all this dampyric hotness was modestly and simply covered in a loose black dress that revealed only small amounts of flesh.

My close scrutiny of her seemed to get on her nerves, or maybe it was because of my eyes glowing slightly when I scanned her aura, because she kept shooting me annoyed and slightly disturbed glance.

Cassandra's POV

Cassandra had been enjoying her book, a gift from her father for her birthday, and the relatively peaceful silence which was suddenly broken as the door was opened and some annoying and punkish little first year student waltzed into the compartment like he owned the place and promptly made himself at home on the other bench little brat didn't even ask if the bench taken, god he must be muggleborn from that outfit, and why is he staring at me like that? Does he know something…no matter, he may dress tough, but he'll run off crying for his mom soon enough; especially if he causes enough trouble, just like that little red haired Weasley brat.

It wasn't the fact that the kid had just come in like he owned the compartment, but aside from looking at her with that piercing stare for a while, he hadn't said so much as a single word, which was rather freaky. Oh Cassandra knew this general cultural type; some had come along to Hogwarts recently. They were all tough and seemed to thrive on breaking the rules just for the thrill of it. On the outside they were tough but underneath they were really goody two shoes who figured this would be like any other muggle school. Cassandra had seen a number of them in her time at Hogwarts, they were quickly broken when they went through a few detentions; oh boy did they sure changed quick. Especially once Ms Gonigall gave them a few tongue lashings for their unruly behavior.

But they rarely ended up in her house, Slytherin, it just seemed to be something about their attitude that the hat picked up and thought they would fit into Gryffindor oh so perfectly.

What is...is that a knife? Oh dear lord, just great, we got a bloody psycho here.

End Cassandra's POV

I had gotten bored just sitting and listening to music; so I pulled out one of the knives I had made and began to sharpen it, on a little sharpening stone I kept just for this purpose.

With a jolt and a thump the Hogwarts Express started along on it's way.

Oh, guess we're finally going, sure took them long enough to get around to it. I thought as I felt the jolt of the train begin its journey out of the station and onto the private track to Hogwarts.

I was just getting into a steady rhythm when someone barged into the compartment

"Just Fucken great, the bucktoothed wonder herself" I mumbled out in exasperation.

"Has anyone seen a toad around here? One of the student lost it and its som….is that a magic knife?" The obviously female student asked, seeing the runes I'd carved into the face of it for fun. "I've read all about magic knives, there supposed to be so dangerous; you never know when one of them might have been owned by a dark wiz…" she was suddenly cut off as I lost my interest in her babbling

"Shut up" I said in monotone

"Excuse me, that is very rude you shouldn't say that to people you don't know, I'm Hermione by the way."

god, I just want to kill her now

"Look, bitch, fuck off; I'm not interested in listening to you, I have other things that warrant more of my attention."

Ha, looks like the kid has never had anyone swear at her, priceless.

"You are being very rude you know, and what could you be doing that's so important, it doesn't look like your doing much of anything." Hermione said, huffing and trying to make herself look like an authoritative figure.

"Okay, shut the fuck up and piss off, or so help me god, I'll rip out your throat and paint this compartment with your blood" I shouted jumping to my feet, while letting my voice take on a slightly draconic rumbling hiss and pulling out my pipe; overall a fairly scary thing for any first year, muggle born or not.

A commotion out in the hallway and down a few compartments drew Cassandra and Hermione's attention, I was just thankful for a distraction.

Yes, Draco's up to his old tricks again, two big apes who I'd guess to be Crabbe and Goyle, were helping Draco play keep away with Neville.

"Guess someone found the toad" I said as I started towards Draco, tightening my grip on my pipe, I really can't stand animal cruelty like that;

poor Neville's toad had definitely seen better days.

Getting right behind Draco, as everyone around quickly shut up to see what would happen, I grabbed his shoulder "Well, well, well, we meet again Malfoy, what's this I see before me; you picking on higher life forms again?" I said as Draco froze up and the suddenly spinning around and jumping backwards, drawing his wand

"Crabbe, Goyle, that's him" Malfoy squealed.

You could just about hear the gears in their heads rustily cranking along before speeding up a notch or two, both of them circled around to my back.

"Well Malfoy looks like you got some toys, too bad I'm gonna have to break them; then I'm gonna break you" That really got him scared, wonder if I can get him to wet his pants? Now that would be priceless.

At Draco's word both Crabbe and Goyle rushed forwards, I ducked under Goyles weak swing, giving Crabbe a pipe to the side of the face before giving Goyle a righteous steel capped boot to the gut, laughing as he doubled over and started gasping for air

With the goons taken care of I rounded on Malfoy and rushed towards him, pipe cocked and ready to take a swing at the side of his head.

Little Draco as I swung the pipe in a slow lazy arc towards his neck, when he tried to duck I kicked him across to the other side of the ring of space lined by cheering and chanting students.

"Stay Back! I'm warning you!" Malfoy screamed, like a little girl, as I advanced on him pipe in hand; when I'm through with him he'll flinch at the site of a toad.

"And just what are you going to do, you dweeb, hurt me? You going to use your wand on me huh, do you have the guts to use it?" I scoffed at Draco, his wand arm shakily pointed in my general direction.

"Come on you pussy, I dare you, we'll take turns, a shot for a shot…..well, come on you pussy, fuck'n hit me!" this really must have given him some crazy idea that he'd win, or maybe he figured I'd go down in one hit because I was standing there arms wide and waiting.

Draco suddenly got the most obnoxious smirk on his pale little face.

By now almost all the students were chanting and whistling for us to fight maybe I should try and sell tickets for this kind of thing to get a little extra money "_Cruci…_" Draco began to say as an Adult voice yelled out "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" looks like the snack lady finally came along and didn't like the large crowd of students crowding the halls and chanting. As someone began pushing through the crowd I quickly ducked into one of the compartments to watch what would happen. When the snack lady finally got through the crowd she saw, not me fighting Malfoy, but Malfoy one side wand out, a gasping Goyle and the unconscious body of Crabbe who was bleeding from the head.

Before Draco could say a thing the lunch lady dragged him away, with Crabbe and Goyle." And there was a mad dash to the unattended snacks.

ten minutes later, back in the compartment

Cassandra just couldn't help herself, this boy was brash, uncouth, wild, and strong as a troll from what she saw in the fight; she couldn't help herself, some sort of animalistic attraction was drawing her towards him. She saw those tight corded muscles rippling under his skin like steel cables as he had moved, it was unnatural, but oh so pleasing to the eyes what is he? He took out those two big boys without seeming to put any effort into it, is he even human, is he some sort of hybrid?.

Finally unable to keep it in any longer Cassandra voiced the first thing that came to mind "What are you doing?" she asked referring to what I was drawing on one of the wooden pieces of the compartment seats, it appeared to be a circle with little squiggles around it.

"So, the mystery passenger finally speaks. Well this is a circle, and these of some symbols of alchemy. What do you think I'm doing?" I said, sounding like she'd just asked me an obvious question.

"How is that alchemy, isn't alchemy like potions?" that's what she had always thought alchemy was about.

"Not really, alchemy is simply the transformation of matter from one thing to another threw the application of energy; it has more similarities with transfigurations than potions except you don't need or even have to use a wand. Heh, watch this, this is about the best I can do so far, but I'm just starting." I said as I took out an unopened chocolate frog and placed the squirming frog in the circle, it suddenly took on a metallic sheen before jumping towards the window, making a cracking sound as it hit.

"What? Huh, how did you do that?" grabbing the frog I handed it to her to inspect the now very metallic frog.

"Wow, it's so heavy…" I cut her off as I noticed Draco sneaking by outside the compartment, before seeing me looking at him and making a run for it "just a second, got something I need to do." I muttered as I grabbed the frog and raced outside compartment.

As I slammed open the door I saw Malfoy's fleeing form a few compartments down, I quickly aimed the frog and, chucking the metal frog at the back of Draco's head, watched as it hit him about six compartments down the hall and knocking him out. He hit the floor like a sack of potatoes, feeling better I wandered back in and to the questioning look on Cassandra's face "What was that all about?" she inquired,

looking down the hallway at Draco's unconscious form "Oh, I just saw something causing pain to the world,

so I thought I'd temporarily remove it so the world in general could have a break." This got a bit of a smile out of her and what a pretty sight that was.

"Cassandra, my name is Cassandra." She said extending her hand "Harry, nice to meet you Cassandra." It's always good to return the curtesy of your name, when a pretty lady gives hers.

At that moment a voice cleared its throat throughout the whole of the train and requested that all students begin to change into their uniforms, and that the Hogwarts Express would be arriving at Hogwarts in ten minutes.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 8 – Points of Authority**

Feeling nice and full I made my way down towards the Slytherin Common room behind Cassandra, I made sure to get the password off of her before she left up to the girl's dorms, what kind of a password is Serpent? I could have probably figured that one out in a couple minutes. Making my way towards the boy's common room I was confronted by Snape

"Mister Potter, I must regrettably inform you, that we were unable to locate your luggage and we have reason to believe that it has been left behind somehow, you did bring luggage didn't you?" he sneered looking down at me not the least bit sorry bloody git "oh course I brought my fuck'n luggage, what the hell am I supposed to wear if I didn't bring it?" I shot back at the sneering git "And of course you couldn't find my luggage I've got it right here." I snapped showing Snape my shrunken luggage

"Did you not understand the instructions to leave luggage behind? Or was that just too difficult for you to understand" Snape sneered back as I put my trunk back into my pocket.

"Look, I don't like people going through my things and I figured I'd leave my luggage were it was, in my pocket, now if you'll excuse me I'll be going to set up my stuff in an empty room." I spat at Snape, trying to be as civil as humanly possible, as I pushed past him and started towards the dorms. Unfortunately before I could even make it to the entrance to the dorms Snape had whirled around and shot something right at me, I tried to dodge I guess I was just too close and he was too quick.

As I fell to the floor I felt the pain and the first thing that came to mind was that the bastard had just attacked me. The feelings I was feeling was similar to a description of the feeling and affects of a stunner spell I'd read in my DADA book.

For some reason it only lasted for a few seconds before I once again had full control of my limbs and I could override the pain and move, it should have lasted longer, after all Snape was a teacher and not some little inexperienced student, maybe he had just meant to have 'the last laugh' in the little verbal fight he had started. But that didn't change what the bastard had done, justified or not that bastard had attacked me, the famous words 'its clobbering time' came to mind as I started to get up.

(**_Start Bodies, by Drowning Pool_**)

Slowly I got up, my muscles reacting slower than normal, but still good enough. As I got up I contemplated using my knives on him, finish him off real quick like, but decided against it because no matter how I used my stardom I wouldn't be able to get off scot-free for murdering Serverus Snape, except if I had proof that he was a death eater and that I had good reason to kill him. No I thought, as I un-strapped my pipe from under my robes, I'll just have to knock him out.

Turning around I saw Snape, with his back to me, addressing all the assembled first years in the common room. Should have kept an eye on me, Bastard attacked me, he's going down now. my movements were only seen y a few of the students; some even flinched after seeing the look in my eyes.

Back to Snape

" Now everyone pay close attention to what mister potter has just shown you all, you are all now Slytherin's, and I expect you all to act appropriately. You will not walk away from me while I'm talking to you, nor will you show such disrespect to me as mister potter has just shown me.

I do not care if he is a celebrity, I will not tolerate it from him or anyone else. Further more in about ten minutes, when the stunner has worn off, mister potter can move again he will be an object lesson to all of you.

If you show such disrespect you will not have house points deducted, you will be punished in a more direct manner like mister potter there was. I will hold nothing back and you will feel the full affects of a stunner sp…#**KLANG!**#"

Snape was interrupted as I dealt out my own brand of justice and let his unconscious body slumped to the floor, revealing my angry face with pipe in hand before I started repeatedly kicking him and giving him a few more choice hits with my pipe.

"When he wakes up, if he unfortunately does, tell him that if he ever assaults me like that again I'll break both his arms and force feed him pieces of his wand" I addressed the whole room full of stunned student.

Looking around the room, at the shocked faces of all the first years and multiple students of higher grade levels I looked for one of the older kids, locating one I approached him to get some directions

"Dude, were the fuck is there an empty room I can set up my stuff in?" I demanded

(**_End Bodies, by Drowning Pool_**)

He quickly snapped out of his daze and I was directed to a room down the hallway a ways

"There is only one free space, but I've just got to warn you now, it's in Cassandra's room." I could just about hear the capital 'C' as he said her name "So, what's wrong with that?" I snapped, seeing a trend of students staying away from her and or excluding her from things.

"Calm down man, it's just that… well, she's a vampire, and you've got to watch yourself around her man." The old boy said as he tried to calm me down as my pipe twitched in my left hand

Inside Cassandra's dorm

Cassandra, having heard someone stop outside her door had stopped what she had been unpacking and started listening as O'Connor told Harry 'all' about her oh god, he knows now…guess that's just one more person who will get scared off and try to bunk with someone else Cassandra sadly thought as she slowly slumped down to the floor against her bed, it had been difficult for her the past two years since she started coming to Hogwarts. It wasn't her fault she was raised as a muggle, her mother was a muggle and she had met a vampire when she was younger…well one things had led to another and she was here now, alone and a half-blood, to make things worse the previous year she had started t get 'the thirst' as her father called it, yes life was going to get very difficult in the coming years What? Cassandra thought with a start as Harry started shouting back at O'Connor.

Back outside Cassandra's door

"What the hell is your bloody problem mate, so what if she's a fucking vampire? That just means she gets a little hungry every once in a while, it's a disability. You should be ashamed of yourself you bastard, your picking on someone because they have a disability, that is both low and disgusting. Do you seriously think I couldn't tell she was a vampire? I've met a few of them before; it's not that hard to spot them. Now go on, rack off, I've had enough of you stupid misconceptions"

I raged as I grabbed a hold of the door and opened it before I walked through into the room and slammed it in O'Connor's now sneering face I wonder if Snape teaches his students to sneer, or if they just pick it up?.

Sitting down on the empty bed I looked across at Cassandra's tear streaked face as she looked up towards me, getting down off the bed and sitting down next her I pulled her into a comforting hug, she sure looked like she needed one.

"Don't worry babe, I'm not scared of you nor do I have any reason to be." I tried to reassure her.

"Come on Cassandra, I need some help setting up my side of the room, would you help me?" I whispered into her ear as she slowly calmed down.

"Are you serious?" she finally managed to say after calming down enough

"Aren't you scared of me? I could suddenly go crazy and sink my teeth into your neck…you would be powerless to stop me" she said, seemingly expecting me to suddenly realize what I had gotten myself into and run away.

Laughter probably wasn't what she was expecting from me "Helpless, you think I would be helpless? Hahahaha, oh babe, I'm anything but helpless." I laughed, transforming my canine teeth into their more draconic form, adding on a good couple of extra inches onto their length. She stared, when they didn't prove to be some type of illusion she asked the most obvious question "Are you a vampire too?" maybe I should be, considering how much blood I lost to that prostitute in Knock turn

"But even if you did do that I might enjoy it and even return the favor." I said, giving a draconic smirk, to emphasize my point.

"The chances of becoming one are very high for me." All I got from her was a questioning stare, she probably wouldn't understand if I told her anyways, but what the heck.

"Look, there are a hell of a lot of people who will start coming after me as soon as word spreads that Harry Potter 'Bloody Fucken Boy Who Lived' has been found and is going to Hogwarts" I spat out, showing my disgust at the whole hype around.

"But Harry, don't you like everyone fawning all over you? I know I'd like that and most every boy I know of would love to have so many girls trying to get their attention." By now Cassandra's eyes had dried and she was starting to get rather interested in knowing about me and what it was like to be me poor girl, doesn't realize what my life has been like

"Cas, can I call you Cas?" getting a nod from her I continued "Until a couple of months ago, when Hagrid came and took me to daigon alley, I had almost no contact with the magical community what-so-ever. I went to a muggle school, lived with an abusive aunt, uncle and cousin; went to a half decent muggle school, went all the way up to year twelve too. Sure I knew some magic, do you realize how much stuff on magic finds its way into muggle libraries? I found a couple old transfigurations books in one library. In another I found one on hand making wands." Pulling out one of my wands I showed her "no registration, no ministry tracking charm, it even looks a hell of a lot better than this 'professionally' made one." I said, laying on the sarcasm at the idea that it was professional. Getting up I offered her my hand "Come on, get up off the cold floor and let's see about getting my stuff set up.


End file.
